I begin by asking couples to think of two divorced couples they know. One couple that treated each other with civility and who worked to keep the children out of the process. The other couple who treated each other with disdain and hostility and dragged their children right into the fray. “Folks, Divorce is a number line, and you are going to fall somewhere on the line. Where you end up is in your control”.
Divorce in and of itself does not harm children; instead, it is how parents go about the process that either allows their children to continue to grow and flourish or become anxious and overwhelmed with sometimes horrific results.
Under the best circumstances, Divorce with children is difficult. When you add critical issues such as betrayal, addiction, financial stress, and alienation, you create an extremely negative and sometimes hostile environment for your children, many of whom will struggle to keep their heads above water.
Counseling For Divorcing Parents is child-centered. The goal is to keep the well being of your children front and center at all times. Spending time blaming and attacking the other parent is a waste of time and energy and is not tolerated. The past is the past, and it is time to move forward. Frequently discussed topics include: (a) How and When to tell the children we are getting divorced, (b) Time-Sharing, (c) What if the child does not want to see the other parent? (d) Dealing with extended family, (e) Education, (f) Religion, (g) Undue Parental Influence, (h) Introduction of new significant others to children.
Counseling For Divorcing Parents is not an easy process, but hard work at the adult level can often determine how your children will deal with the Divorce.
Want more information? Here is a great video that goes more in depth on divorce.